Tallahassee, Florida—

The recounts from the last year’s presidential election have finally come to an end?  Eight different news organizations formed a consortium to conduct the year long re-re-re-re-re-re-count of the 175,010 Florida ballots which were not tallied for any candidate last year.

After a year of exhaustive investigation and ballot examination, guess what shocking information the study revealed.  Are you ready? 

Some people didn’t vote for anyone for President.  That’s right—thousands of people properly voted for the candidates for other local, state and federal offices—important races, like Mosquito Control Commissioner—but  made no mark whatsoever in the Presidential portion of the ballot. 

They simply chose not to vote for any of them.  It seems to me, that you can count those ballots ‘till the cows come home, but the result will always be the same.

“Over-vote” ballots were also examined, studied and recounted--ad nausium.  An “over-vote” ballot simply means that the “voter” “voted” for two or more people for President.  Some voted for Gore and Bush.  Some people voted for three, four, or even five of the candidates for the office of President.  Some of them may have gotten confused and thought they were picking the trifecta at the dog track.

Perhaps the most shocking revelation to come from this year-long, comprehensive study of “over-voted” ballots is that stupid people were ten thousand times more likely to have their ballot rejected as compared to the ballots cast by the drunks living under the Destin bridge. 

I hope that none of these people operate heavy equipment. 

I did notice with interest that the study found that people who voted for Gore were twice as likely to be stupid as people who voted for Bush.  I don’t think I’ll comment further on that.

What really irritates me about this is that the liberals are still trying to create some kind of sinister racist plot out of it.  This ain’t got a thing in the world to do with race.  This has to do with “stupid,” and no one race of people can lay an exclusive claim on stupid. 

I frankly don’t care what the liberals with their paternalistic racist attitudes have to say, race is only skin deep, but stupid goes slap to the bone?  If you voted for two or three or four different people—all for the office of president, then you are stupid, and we should all be happy that your vote didn’t count.  Well, everyone, that is, except Osama bin Laden.

Ken Revell is a syndicated columnist. 

He may be contacted at ken@kenrevell.com
web: www.kenrevell.com